Ángela Molina: “Suicide is not possible in the full use of freedom”

“Angela’s body beat could be felt among the chestnut trees and cornfields. A body that attracted us all as if the future of the species depended on it.” The phrase is by Manuel Gutiérrez Aragón (hence the quotes) and appears in his book To the Actors. The director with whom the actress filmed four films refers to the filming The heart of the forest 1979. Well, years have passed and almost everything still depends on her and her small body. The future of all species included. Now premieres They will be dust, of Carlos Marqués-Marcet, and he does it with the gesture and vocation of a kamikaze. She is the conscious suicide in a musical (yes, musical) who dares everything and, most surprisingly, achieves everything. The story is told of a woman who, faced with the inevitability of a terminal illness, chooses to take ownership of her own death. His companion for more than 40 years refuses to be left alone. And he accompanies her in the only way one accompanies someone who dies. Dying. Behind is a family and many more things, behind is an entire life that, despite everything, against everyone and with everyone, continues. There is no future without Ángela Molina.

What attracted you to such a sad story?

It conquered me everything. I read the script and found it fascinating. I don’t read a story and say: “Wow, how sad.” I love what I feel and what I felt was all so pure and with so much life that I couldn’t say no.

Has your idea of ​​death changed after the film?

I don’t know, I don’t know anything about death. I didn’t know it before and I don’t know it now. What I do know is that death is very sad for the simple reason that what we love disappears, life disappears.

In addition to this film, he stars in the latest film by Costa Gavras, which was seen in San Sebastián, also about death, and soon another one by Germinal Roaux will be seen, which, in its own way, insists on old age and, once again, , in death… What is happening? Why so much death?

There is no other reason than the certain fact that I have always had death very much in mind. Since always, since I was little… I was about seven years old when I faced her for the first time. And I don’t think I’ve ever said this before. My grandmother, my mother’s mother whom I resemble so much, died. Her name was Paula and I adored her. I hid under the bed where she was dying. And there I stayed. People kept coming into the house. At one point, my grandfather approached, took her hand and, in a moment of solitude between the two of us, I heard him say: “Oh, Paula, love is like a tree, time gives it life.” It stuck with me, in fact, that life and love itself were like a tree that gives meaning to time. And I think it was that moment in which I became aware that we are beings who have time. And the funny thing is that thinking about death makes me reflect on life and be very attentive to everything that surrounds me, to the gestures, to the details, to the company of each other.

Despite what he says, it seems that we live in a society obsessed with youth and completely oblivious to death…

Yes, everything is covered by a veil of vanity and banality. We only seem to worry about how to consume time as quickly as possible. I see that people listen to messages on their mobile phones at double speed. They seem like conversations between parrots. We don’t give ourselves time to enjoy our own time. It’s as if we constantly postpone what is truly important to always be busy with we don’t know what exactly. It’s as if our only concern was to always be entertained with something. But hey, you don’t have to pay much attention to me either. These are things that come to mind.

But what he says is coming to mind to many more people. This year Pedro Almodóvar and Pilar Palomero have also released two films with death as a plot…

It’s very interesting. Maybe it’s time to stop and think. And cinema also exists for that: to tell us as a society, to remind us that we have a shared memory. At the end of the day, we are nothing more than our memory.

Would you be in favor of assisted suicide as it exists in Switzerland, where part of the film takes place?

What is clear to me is that the law must always be in favor of what man needs and always respect his freedom. There is no possible suicide when freedom is fully used. The will of each person must be respected and protected. That is what the law essentially has to do. If one is responsible for one’s life, one must also be responsible for one’s death. All arguments against religious or theological nature are of no use to me if they are imposed by one on another. We saw many videos of people who go to these clinics and, all with their doubts, they prove to be perfectly aware and free.

What caught your attention the most about all those videos?

The courage you have to have to be yourself until the end. And that despite all the doubts, fevers and weaknesses. They go there and allow themselves to faint, but they go.

What relationship does it have with religion?

I consider myself very spiritual. I love the creator, I live with him, but I am not religious. I want to believe that I love god through any religion. I like all religions. I am very loyal.

You mean disloyal…

No, no, loyal. Loyally disloyal. I say that I am loyal because I am clear that there is only one God and that he is the creator of this wonderful life. I love him. I’ve been here for almost 70 years and I can attest to the wonder that surrounds me.

Are you worried that it will all end here or are you hopeful?

I want to believe that we will always continue to be part of life. In what way? I don’t know that. Honestly, I’m satisfied with staying in the air. Despite all the catastrophes and misfortunes that happen, life always survives and prevails. I dream that there is an answer that makes sense of all this. It’s just a dream.

There is a form of eternity that is the legacy that one leaves to be remembered. In the case of an actress, her films remain… How much do you worry about eternity from this other point of view?

It worries me, but not in a personal way. I’m not worried about what I leave behind, but what art, cinema, music leaves behind… Beyond each one of us specifically, culture remains in the hearts of people and remains forever. People come up to me and talk to me about my father and what they tell me is what they carry with them in their lives. And they thank him and they thank me. That is the legacy that interests me, the shared heritage of culture, of art, of love itself…

When you look back, what do you see? I ask about his work.

I see the cinema that has always been part of my life. I remember that I was just a teenager who didn’t lift half a meter off the ground and went to the Filmoteca to see Truffaut’s films. I felt like I needed to fly and that’s what cinema gave me. Cinema is a way of dreaming together that has always captivated me and continues to do so.

Do you consider yourself a nostalgic person?

No, I like the present. I have never imagined myself in another place and another moment than the one I live in at this precise moment. And when it comes to cinema, I am amazed at how alive it is today. I work with all types of directors and I see that it is always renewed. Today’s cinema seems more alive and more timely than ever.

Do you imagine yourself in a position similar to that of the character you play?

My character is a great dancer who does not allow herself to falter because she is very aware that she has lived a full life. And in her last days she is flooded by the memory of everything she experienced. We are our memory. I can imagine that if I were handicapped or relegated to a wheelchair or bedridden, my memory would surely come back to me because I love and have loved many people.

And would he be able to claim his own death for himself as she does?

I think not because I trust my children, my grandchildren, my husband, my people… Even if I could give them very little, I would insist on being there for them. Now, if I were a vegetable and I couldn’t really give or receive anything, then maybe…