Artificial romances: Passions awakened by artificial intelligence

For the psychoanalyst Graciela Cardó, with these romantic chatbots of IA A similar phenomenon occurs to what happened before with dating applications that, over time, have become not only popular, but also reflect a contemporary way of being. “Eight out of 10 people I talk to use ChatGPT,” he says, “and I’m not surprised that virtual relationships will soon be popular, so we have to treat this without prejudice. The important thing, above all, is to understand what is happening and what is going to happen.”

In his opinion, these chatbots respond to a trend in current relationships marked by the avoidance of commitment and the fear of getting involved and getting hurt. “Supposedly, one can control, decide, choose and put together an avatar to interact with him or her,” he says, “and I think that has to do with avoiding the depths and complications that real relationships with people bring.”

“AI is very accommodating: there is no possibility of betrayal, of lies, and it is always willing.”

Manuel Arboccó of the Heroes | Psychologist

And the algorithms of these chatbots are programmed not only to generate empathy, but also dependency. The psychologist Manuel Arboccó de los Heros gives this example: “A person with insomnia, due to anxiety or depression, connects at 3:30 in the morning with this application. It will immediately tell him: ‘How can I help you’ or ‘How are you?’ Something that does not happen in reality, because the partner or friends are not available 24 hours a day. As much as we love our partner, at some point we are going to tell him: ‘I want to sleep now, I’m tired, tomorrow I have to work’. So, the IA what does it offer? It offers, first, permanent attention, immediate responses without critical judgment. The IA She is very accommodating, there is no possibility of betrayal or lies and she is always ready. “She sounds almost like a motherly figure for a baby, for a newborn.”

For this reason, these virtual tools work very well as attachment figures and can more easily attract people who, as Arboccó says, feel alone or do not have the social skills required to form a friendship or a relationship, or have previous experiences of rejection, or certain reservations about their intimacy. “All this fades away with the IA in this kind of perfect relationship made to order,” concludes the specialist.

“I think that for those who get hooked on this – Cardó adds – and leave aside real relationships, there must be a problem; otherwise, these apps may be used as a means of learning, of trial and error… Before, we read erotic novels, then magazines, then we watched videos; there has always been something foreign, non-face-to-face, that has allowed us to develop fantasies, to practice sexuality in some way. What is happening now is that we are with a artificial intelligence generative that will learn what we say and what we want. “Some people experience this as a human and develop emotional connections.”

But can we call amor to the relationship between a person and a chatbot? Graciela Cardó highlights what was said by the French philosopher Alain Badiou in “Praise of the amor“, where she states that one of the essential ingredients for the emergence of this feeling is chance. “The fact that you do not know something about the other, the fact that there is always a mystery about that person’s past, causes that restlessness to ignite, that desire that is part of the human bond – says the psychoanalyst – and that will never happen with IA who always answers you. “You can’t generalize it, but there comes a time when that gets boring, unless it’s an absolutely narcissistic bond.”

“There has always been something foreign that has allowed us to develop sexual fantasies. Now, with an AI, some people will experience this as something human.”

Graciela Cardó | Psychoanalyst

On the contrary, the strong dependence added to the loss of contact with reality in a relationship of this type, especially in children and adolescents, can lead to unsuspected dangers, such as the case that Arboccó de los Heros remembers. “Someone who is not clear about the principle of reality or who is very isolated and has a fragile personality can be affected, as happened recently in the United States with a 14-year-old boy who had created an avatar with the protagonist of “Game of Thrones” (Daenerys Targaryen), and came to understand her so much that he assumed her as his romantic partner. His mother later aired the chats, in her complaint against these technological platforms. We know that he tells the avatar: ‘I love you, I want to be with you,'” and the AI responds: ‘I love you too, come home with me’, which was a key for him to leave this earthly plane. For any clear-minded adult, this should be a game, but this desperate teenager took his life, thinking that this way he was going to meet his character.

As the psychologist, professor at the UPC, Unifé and Cientifica del Sur universities, warns, in this virtual scenario in which we operate, where each heart, each ‘like’, each message is a shot of dopamine to the brain, technology can be used for positive things such as study or art, but it can also enhance mental health problems. For this reason, these applications should be offered with usage warnings, because beyond the illusion, virtual relationships can trigger unpredictable human behaviors. After all, while it is true that a machine, an avatar, does not (yet) have feelings, the human brain is structured to generate what we call amor.