“I wanted to apologize for how ugly I was”: what is dysmorphic disorder for which some people cannot bear to see their body

“I got up at 5:30 in the morning to put on makeup, even though the school bus didn’t arrive until 8:30.”account.

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“I applied it compulsivelyI took it off, I reapplied it, I took it off again, trying to make it as symmetrical and perfect as possible.”.

Charlotte says that she began to isolate herself, until she couldn’t even go to university, except to take exams. She didn’t go to the prom because she didn’t dare have her photo taken.

Finally, he was diagnosed body dysmorphic disorder (TDC).

Body dysmorphia is a term often used on social media to reflect the dissatisfaction of a person with his body.

But BDD occurs when anxiety about physical appearance begins to interfere with daily life, explains Viren Swami, professor of social psychology at Anglia Ruskin University.

It is an obsession with some aspect of physical appearance that other people consider normalbut for the person who suffers from it it can be completely wrong, explains Swami in the BBC “Complex” podcast.

Features of TDC include emotional distressspend a lot of time thinking about the subject and feel that you can’t control your thoughts about appearance.

It can also include repetitive behaviors, such as looking in the mirror or repeatedly touching the part of the body that is considered defective.

“Your whole world is reduced to this aspect of your body and everything else fades away.”he states.

Swami states that it is much more common for women to experience body dissatisfaction, but with TDC there is no clear division between genders.

Charlotte began therapy at her local mental health service before being admitted to a residential unit for anxiety disorders in London.

“I did occupational therapy when I was in hospital treatment, things like painting, ceramics and musical composition, and that’s how I got back into music”he states.

“It helped me channel my perfectionism, bringing it out of the darkness and into the light, and dispelling that shame.”.

Once discharged, she began share your story online hoping to help other people.

Swami urges those who may be suffering from this disorder to initially seek support from their GP.

And if you think someone you know has BDD, stress that it’s important to be patient and empathetic. It is common for them to seek reassurance for their thoughts daily, he explains.

“Rather than shutting down these conversations and getting angry or frustrated about it, recognize that BDD is a mental health disorder that does not go away on its own and, without professional help, can often get worse.”.

Tilly also developed BDD in her early teens.

“I felt like I wanted to apologize to the people who passed by me for how ugly I was.”he states. “I could never look at myself in a public mirror.”.

He avoided tight clothing and found it “unbearable” dress up for festivals and parties.

“It sent me into a negative spiral that I couldn’t recover from in time for the event.”

At first he thought it was low self-esteem and depression.

“I wasn’t aware of the connection between different types of experiences that actually had to do with my appearance.”he states.

Her BDD symptoms began to worsen when she went to university to study fashion design, as she compared herself to those working in the industry.

This led her to have dark and distressing thoughts about her appearance, including continuous feelings of inferiority.

Tilly had seen several therapists over the years, but none specialized in body image.

He began working with an NHS psychotherapist who identified that he had BDD.

Tilly says she joined a DBT Foundation support group and worked with a private therapist to help alleviate her symptoms.

Recommends anyone experiencing symptoms of BDD to investigate the disorder before discussing your concerns with a doctor.

“This could make it easier for people to ask for the right help more confidently.””, he adds.

Now, Tilly is able to control her thoughts better.

“If I look in the mirror while I’m getting ready and I don’t like what I see, if I feel panic coming on, I can stop it immediately.”he states.

“The way I see myself, depending on different days and moods, is not how others see me, they just see me as Tilly.”.

He says he has experienced a complete change in his way of thinking.

“I have found joy in my life again and, for the first time since my childhood, I feel love for myself.”.

Charlotte wants people to know that “There is hope, that it is possible to recover”.

“I feel so fulfilled, so happy and so at peace… Now I truly love my life, and I never thought I would reach this point”.