“I can’t imagine how low I have fallen”: Matthieu Delormeau opens up about his excesses with drugs

“Don’t touch that. » Two days before the release of his book “Addictions: It only took one time » published by Leduc, Matthieu Delormeau returned this Tuesday to his two years of drug addiction.

“In this book, I give a lot of advice to people,” he declares on France Inter, defining himself as “someone who has fallen into all the traps.”

“It’s the story of an asshole who needed a good lesson to become a better person, but the lesson cost a lot of money,” he adds, before addressing his readers: “When you take drugs, it seems good at the moment, but always remember the price to pay behind it… It’s too heavy. »

Up to 4g of cocaine per day

And the host – who for the first time in his life says he feels “useful” with his testimony – knows what he is talking about. For two years, he notably consumed cocaine and GHB in large quantities.

“I went up to 4 g. In the end, it was night too. It was 4g and 15ml of GHB per day, it’s gigantic,” he admits. “I can’t imagine how low I fell and how lucky I was not to have a cardiac arrest,” he continues.

The columnist and producer says he did not have suicidal thoughts, but admits that he “did not love life enough to be afraid of death”. “I would go to bed at night and say to myself: If I don’t wake up tomorrow, it’s not a big deal “, he admits.

For two years, Matthieu Delormeau reveals that he did “exactly what Michael Jackson did, but a little less powerful”. He explains that the singer took Propofol every evening, which, according to him, is equivalent to general anesthesia carried out in hospitals. “His heart finally gave out. I took almost the same amount of anxiolytic and medication, I went to bed and I had to fall asleep within 1.30 minutes maximum, otherwise I would start to think, to fool around, I would get up and use again,” he describes.

1.38 euros in his account

His consumption notably had consequences on his social life. The fifty-year-old claims to have lived alone in his apartment for two years and says he went out five times during this period.

“I didn’t leave the house, I didn’t like myself, I was paranoid and I was afraid of people,” he relates, specifying that when he needed a box of Doliprane, he called a motorcycle taxi who charged him “182 euros” for the journey and the medication which took him “about a day”.

Confident of having had “nights” that he would not wish on anyone, the columnist and producer also lost a lot of money during these two years. “I was the good idiot, I paid for Uber, drugs, etc., to people who came to my house,” he remembers, also giving an example where his banker calls him to tell him that he only has 1.38 euros left in his account.

Physical after-effects

Now that he’s out of it, the host – who lost his mother to cancer at the age of 9 – is trying to dissuade drug users. “If you have any mental fragility, if you are anxious, fragile, don’t touch that: you will see solutions that are miraculous (…) unfortunately when there is an easy solution, you pay for it one day,” he warns.

Matthieu Delormeau is also transparent about his current medical journey. Monday, “I was at the doctor, I had an ultrasound of the liver, an MRI of the brain, an MRI of the pituitary gland (…) I have to go see an ENT because I have weakened my nose and my throat. You can’t imagine all the consequences behind it.” He will also have to wait almost two years to have a libido that works without chemsex. “I’ll be a year old this summer,” he whispers.

Despite this complicated period of his life, he admits to having received “the best advice from people who worked on television” and in particular from Marc-Olivier Fogiel who recommended that he resolve his problems before doing television. “Otherwise, the camera is very simple, it spots the tumor (mental health) and made it grow, but at 30-35 years old, I didn’t listen to anyone. It was a mistake. »