U40 ‘turned away and went to sleep early’ because of helplessness

Observing the haggard face and thick dark circles under the eyes of a man under 40 years old, Dr. Pham Quang Khai, Department of Kidney and Urology Surgery – Andrology, Hospital E, asked: “When was the last time you felt truly energetic and excited? How many nights a week do you stay up late?”.

The man said his management job put him under pressure, staying up until 1-2am. For the past few months, he has not been able to have an erection in the morning, and only sleeps at night, leaving no time for his wife and children. Negative thoughts gradually appear in the wife’s mind, such as: “husband cheats”, “husband is bored with wife”…

Every time his wife asked, he became more panicked and tormented himself. “When I touched my wife, the pressure to show off made my body completely helpless, and the love affair was interrupted midway,” the man said. He also didn’t know how to explain this invisible decline, so he chose to avoid it. Every day, he tries to work late or pretends to sleep first to avoid his wife’s hug.

According to the doctor, silence and the habit of “going to bed early” unintentionally build a wall of separation, pushing the couple’s relationship into a deadlock for a long time. The doctor ordered blood tests and comprehensive endocrine indexes, and the free testosterone concentration in his blood dropped to an alarming level.

Nam was shocked and did not believe the diagnosis of “premature menopause” at the age of 38. He asked the doctor to re-test, the results did not change.

Huy, 34 years old, was shocked to think he was “on the other side” because of menopause. The frequency of “making love” falls freely to 2-3 times per month, in a forced state, like answering cards. To keep his wife from getting suspicious, he began to find all sorts of excuses, such as intentionally burying his head in the office until midnight or prolonging receptions filled with alcohol. “It’s better to let yourself get drunk than face the fear of being helpless in bed,” Huy said.

When examined, the doctor said he had erectile dysfunction, poor ejaculation, and serum testosterone levels only reached 6 nmol/l—less than half the standard level of 12–20 nmol/l for men in their 30s.

The situation of being very young but whose performance has reached rock bottom like Nam and Huy is increasing day by day, which means the blood testosterone concentration is below the average of 10-35 nanomol/l in adults. Theo HealthlineAndropause is a condition of reduced sexual ability in men due to a lack of testosterone (male hormone) or reduced sperm production. Normally, testosterone levels begin to decrease after age 40 and are most evident after age 50. However, unhealthy lifestyle, prolonged stress, lack of exercise, staying up late, and alcohol abuse are pushing this age younger and younger.

According to the American Urological Association, in men after age 30, testosterone begins to gradually decrease by about 1% each year, and is only 70% at age 50 and 50% at age 70. Male menopause often begins to manifest after age 40 and peaks at ages 50-60 and above.

The cause is often the pressure of life, work, and economics, leading to stress and lack of time to regenerate energy and produce hormones. At this time, the couple is likely to have conflicts, have psychological effects and lose desire more quickly.

Many cases of staying up late, abusing alcohol, stimulants… are also susceptible to premature menopause. A 2021 study by Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College (India) showed that 100 alcoholic men suffered from sexual dysfunction. According to Harvard Medical School (USA), drinking a lot of alcohol in a short period of time weakens the central nervous system and slows down the process of transmitting information between the brain and penis, thereby reducing sensitivity. Some cases of male diseases such as testicular abnormalities, working in hot environments, masturbating a lot… also reduce libido.

Male menopause not only makes love less sublime but also has a profound impact on the entire body. Prolonged testosterone deficiency is an early warning sign of dangerous cardiovascular diseases, increases the risk of chronic erectile dysfunction and directly affects prostate health.

Physiologically, men’s decreased libido is the earliest recognizable sign. Men are less likely to “salute the flag” in the morning, have difficulty achieving maximum hardness or suddenly interrupt during sex. The body reduces endurance, gets tired quickly when exercising, reduces flexibility and easily falls asleep after dinner. Men are easily upset, irritable, always feel anxious, lack vitality and have reduced work productivity.

According to the doctor, the biggest difficulty in treating male menopause is the psychological barrier. The fear and hiding the disease makes many men hesitate to go to the doctor and look for products floating on the internet that make the condition worse.

In addition, most men today still seriously lack knowledge about this issue. “Many people think that when they get old they have to endure it, or mistakenly think that depression and exhaustion are just due to temporary work pressure,” the doctor said. Suffering by themselves puts them in a state of helplessness, makes their partner doubt the passion of their relationship, and causes a rift in the couple’s relationship.

In addition, “menopause” does not mean “sexual cessation”. To regain manhood, men need to proactively prepare and go to the doctor early for appropriate treatment. Regular exercise is a natural solution to help stimulate the body to produce testosterone and improve blood circulation. Minimize alcohol and tobacco; allocate reasonable working time to avoid exhaustion and ensure enough sleep. In addition, companionship and sharing from a partner is a medicine for the mind. Important reasons to help men relieve pressure to quickly restore form.