Le Normand: “I have begun to have more peace, I live better with that second voice that is an internal saboteur”

Atlético de Madrid footballer Robin Le Normand has recently published his book ‘For Fear of Disappointing’ with the “main reason” of showing his “deepest part” and showing the public that he is not only “the central defender who plays duels”, admitting that he has had to know how to live with a “second voice” that sometimes acts as “an internal saboteur” and that he cannot let “eat the illusion” of what he enjoys playing football.

“It’s still difficult for me to write dedications, I’m used to just signing,” admits Le Normand while signing a copy of his book published by ‘Planeta’ before speaking to Europa Press to talk about a story halfway between autobiography and personal testimony.

In this book, the Spanish-French central defender leaves the grass for a moment to explore on paper the origin of his “greatest conflict”: extreme self-demand. “I didn’t want to disappoint my parents, people. I had that same vision of the world because of my past, because of what I had been able to live, because of life experiences, but it is true that I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. That has been a bit of the main reason why I wanted to write this book, to understand myself more,” he explained.

With this story, the footballer seeks to explore the most human side of the athlete. “One of the objectives is to humanize our profession and famous people a little more, who many times we see how beautiful it is, but we forget a little about the human behind it, the doubts, the fears, the responsibilities of each one, their concerns,” he said.

“In my case, above all, to teach the deepest part of Robin Le Normand, to show who I really am, not just the center back and the guy who fights duels because there is also a human and like everyone, with his emotional blows, of life,” he said.

For the Spanish international, writing has been a therapeutic tool that began “three or four years ago.” “It is something very profound. Writing allows you to organize your ideas about how you see the world, your past and the blows, finding solutions in that instrument that is paper,” explained the red and white man.

In this process, Le Normand reveals the coexistence with a “second voice” that he describes as an “internal saboteur.” “Today I live better with him. I have begun to have more peace, to order when that voice serves us and when it does not, when there is real danger and when it is just doubts or fears in powerful situations in our work,” he stated, pointing out that even his psychologist is “very excited” about the project, which his colleagues in the red-and-white locker room are already demanding.

YOUR ROLE IN YOUR FAMILY

The book not only reviews his career, but has served to reconstruct his own personal history. “There are stories that I thought had happened in one way and really were another. My memory had managed my story so that it was easier to live,” admitted the player who indicates that this path has led him to look for answers in his environment. “I have talked to my parents again to heal ‘corners’ of those stories and it has been tremendous,” he noted.

When remembering his childhood, Le Normand describes himself as a “very happy” child, but with an early burden of responsibility as an older brother. “I remember always being with a big smile. He was the first of his children, so with that responsibility and that fear of not disappointing his parents, of guiding his little brothers,” he reflected, although he notes that there is “a certain sadness.”

And the early death of his sister Lou marks the childhood of the now Atlético de Madrid footballer. “I have many memories of images that, luckily, my father has been able to record. It has been hard, but I had an incredible environment with my parents, grandparents and brothers. Our parents sat us at the table and we had to talk to be able to say what was in our hearts. That has allowed us to be more united and not forget, but it will be a big scar,” he confessed.

But writing ‘For Fear of Disappointing’ has brought him closer to Lou. “From the beginning he has always been with me,” he explained, before praising the figure of his parents who are “incredible drivers” and examples of improvement. “My parents have shown us how to continue moving forward because there was no other way. This is what I have been able to see from the prism of a son, I have seen parents continue moving forward, fighting with life and giving the best for their three remaining children,” he commented.

Furthermore, she appreciates her parents’ reaction when reading the story, which has meant the closing of a therapeutic circle. “They have realized things that we had never talked about. They have been able to enter my therapy and be important actors in the book. It has helped us a lot to heal,” he narrated.

“YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE WHEN HARD MOMENTS ARISE”

“There is no time to regret. When those hard moments arise, which people sometimes call failures, it is true that there is a moment where you sit down, you suffer, but you have to continue. And in that sense, my parents have been examples of overcoming, they said ‘now what do we do, the past is done, now we have to get out of bed,'” he recalled.

For this reason, the international appeals that improvement is “to continue searching and advancing for what you like.” “For me to improve is to continue with life, to continue working, trying to strive to improve what you have failed, to improve your head, what is inside you to be a better person,” he stated.

A Robin Le Normand who today sees himself as a “happy and calm” person, with a strong daily attachment to his closest family environment. “I am very familiar. I need to call my mother, my brother, my sister. I need that daily contact, even if it is by video call, with the people I love,” he said.

For the central one, life is about finding balance and practicing a certain healthy “egoism.” “My life is about feeling good, first taking care of how my body and mind are to go for the goals that motivate you,” he reflects. Football continues to be his great passion, but now with a new perspective: “I can’t let that internal saboteur eat away at the enthusiasm I have when I enjoy football.”